"When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it..."

As the days go by Autumn is starting to show a little personality- I love it- and it makes me so excited for her to get bigger (although im sure ill regret saying that later when I want her to be small again!). It seems like she is learning new things overnight and changing so much every day! I cant BELIEVE how the time is flying by. I remember looking at her little smush face in the hospital and her face was naked. and now,

she has eyelashes.

what the heck... WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN??!

I look at her and just cant believe how grown up she is getting- eyelashes today, college tomorrow. sheesh.

My days are filled with a million little moments that make me smile. One of them is this:

Im nursing her and look down and catch her side-eyeing me. It makes me laugh. She doesnt do it every time- sometimes she closes her eyes or stares at my arm... but every now and then she does this and im wondering what she is thinking. Maybe the milk flow slows down and shes like HEY MOM TURN THE FAUCET BACK ON. I dont know- but its cute!

Shes getting her smile down pat pretty well. Most mornings she smiles and makes lots of noises on the changing table. Unless she wakes up sleepy and then she is fussy gussy like her mommy who also dislikes mornings. Shes trying hard to get a laugh out but it mostly just sounds like a choke. Like a silent laugh- but you can tell she wants to laugh so bad.

                                 smile:                                                
            slient laugh (haha, i love this)

im waiting for the day she actually gets the laugh out. I know its going to be hilarious. she seems pretty excited that she can silent laugh. When I was pregnant I never really thought about the milestones we would encounter once she was here. I didnt think about the first smile, a laugh, rolling over... crawling. oh Jesus. shes going to be crawling before I know it. Its going to be like the time I had a litter of baby bunnies and they all learned how to walk at once. and they were EVERYWHERE. and I kept saying GO BACK IN THE HUTCH GO BACK IM NOT READY. yes I just compared my baby to an animal- so?

ANYWAY now that the milestones are starting to occur im freaking out because each time she does something it makes me realize she is going to grow up really fast. slooooow down little one. Im entering a crisis state of OHMYGAWD IM GOING TO BE 25 SOON AND I HAVE A CHILD AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW IM GOING TO BE WRINKLY AND GREY HEADED AND MY BABY WILL HAVE A BABY. and its really really scary to think about.

Autumn has this thing about sucking. First she was sucking her bottom lip. Then she tried to suck her hands, so we put mits on them. Then she learned about boob sucking and was attached to me like a piranha for 16 hours a day. I got over that REALLY fast. So we decided to introduce the pacifier. I was scared she would eventually learn to call it some really awful name like NEE NEE (omg.) so I decided to name it myself and hope she catches on to it. So its not NEE NEE, or PACI, or BINKY (I seriously hate when people say "wheres your binky?") so its called a suck-ee. I dont really know how to spell suck-ee so whatever. Anyway, she wasnt too keen on it at first. I tried a few different ones and when we found one she kept in her mouth for all of five seconds that was the one. Im glad it was the one I had stocked up on (win!) so we have plenty of them. So she takes it sometimes... other times when I try to put it in her mouth she gags like im sticking a toothbrush down her throat- its ridiculous and she exaggerates and suddenly im having flashes of "NO MOMMY I DONT WANT TO WEAR THAT I WANT TO WEAR SPARKLE SHOES" tantrums. and im worried.

so this morning I open my eyes to this sweet little girl:

and im laying there watching her sleep and flutter suck her suck-eee and im thinking aw how cute she slept with it all night. and right then, she ejects it from her mouth.

 and i chuckle to myself wondering what made her spit it out right then.

clearly, its because she wanted to smile and it was IN THE WAY. im pretty sure she was dreaming about cupcakes and ponies and quite possibly her Granny-ma.
(however, if skyler was narrating this picture story he would probably say she was dreaming about OU football, hunting, and daddy.)
eh- ill go with my version. its so much more girlyish and suites the smile better dont you think?

regardless- I love these little moments and I just cant get enough.